First day of school

Caleb started 1st grade the first week of August! He had a hard first week with not used to being away from us, but he is doing SO well. Here's a few photos of his first day..

He was hard to wake up..

Chocolate sprinkle donuts helped though ;)

 SO so cute..

 Missing our Ay man every step of the way..

 Caleb's desk

He started coloring right away...this is how I could tell he was getting upset. My mommy heart was struggling here so badly!

 All smiles ( we were both faking)

 And with daddy...

I wish I could say we pulled it off without a hitch... but it's not how it happened. Poor bub was screaming & crying. A good friend of mine that works at the school ended up going in there to comfort him and assure him that we'd be back, and he calmed down. And yes, I was there for over an hour until I knew he was ok. He didn't know that, but I was there! I waited and listened..  I'll always be there to wait & listen for him! The rest of the week went pretty good. No tears. For him anyway. ;) My big boy is growing up. Wish I could be homeschooling my Ay man for K4 like I had planned on, but we know all too well our plans don't always work out..  Thankful that Caleb is in a great school though.. It's been so good for him to make friends and learn. He has a really awesome teacher too!

A camping getaway...

We knew it would be hard to go on a trip without Ayden. We knew we didn't really WANT to go. But then again.. kind of had to. You see, we scheduled our camping trip to Yogi park in February 3 months ahead of time so we could go in May with our 3 kids. But then Ayden broke his arm in may, and because he couldn't get his cast wet, we decided to reschedule it to June. So he could get wet in the splashpad, and swim.. Ugh. Little did we know, we wouldn't have our little man on the trip we had talked about for months. The camping trip Darryl was SO excited to take his boys on. The trip that I had been looking forward to for months because it would get us out of the house and away from the stress of cleaning/always having to have the house clean because it was on the market. JUST to have time to spend playing with my boys in the woods & water, and cuddling my newborn baby girl, so awesome! 

But we didn't get that. That was IMPOSSIBLE.

We debated even going. He was SO excited for the trip. How could we go without him? But then Caleb was excited for the trip too..and he is HERE. WITH us here. We had to take him. We HAD to go for the children we had here with us.

For them. And for us too.

So we did. It was beautiful. It was SO hard. It was necessary.

The cabin was beautiful. Just what we were expecting and wanting when we booked it 3 months prior.

Had a kitchen, a master bed, a little living room, and oh, and upper loft.

with TWO beds. 

Two. Perfect.

All I could do when I looked at those beds was think of HOW much fun my boys would have had together on those beds! Why Lord why can't I just see my boys jumping around up there together? It seems like such a simple request. 

We quickly unpacked and headed for the splashpad...Caleb didn't want to wait any longer and I wanted to stop staring at the stupid loft.. so off we went! I wasn't happy about it. I didn't want to be near water, I didn't want to see a pool or any little 3 year old boys running around with their families when I so badly wanted mine! But nonetheless, my feelings weren't worth disappointing Caleb. We had to face it eventually, here it was, a month after the accident, and Caleb's wanting to swim in a pool.

He's 6. He loves the water. Ayden loved the water too..
My thoughts torment me sometimes..

But..

The entire trip was worth it..

Why, you ask?

to see them laugh like this..

to see her reaction to the cold water..

to watch Caleb just enjoying some time with his Daddy..

 to let her feel the sand for the first time..

 cute little feet.

to watch them fish again...even though they both missing their fishing buddy..

 to watch him re-grill his grilled cheese from dinner. (he's so goofy)

 to be STILL for awhile and take in the paintings God gave us in the sunsets. 

They were painted orange because it's Ayden's favorite color, and we needed to see that... I just know that's the reason, ok?

 to see her hair curl for the very first time..

{Oh you know you see it sticking up there!}

 Our first trip without Ayden...or was it? He seemed to be there. In every laugh, every sunset, every tear, every smile from his brother & sister, in the orange golf cart we drove around in... everywhere. He's with us and will always be with us because we aren't separated forever...just for now, one day we'll see him again.

 But for now... we miss him SO much it hurts... Kaelyn summed it up pretty well.

 First trip. Check.

Another big step! The training wheels come off!

I can't believe how much year 5 is bringing us with Caleb. It's like he's transforming into such a big boy. I knew he was but it's so amazing to see all of these new things!

Two days ago we went for a bike ride, came home, and told Caleb we were going to make him try to ride his bike without training wheels again. We had tried it about 2 months before but he was sooo scared about it and Daddy got impatient with his crying/whining. Understandably so, since we both can't stand it. LOL

Anyway, the day started off with the crying and then he realized he could do it! He got so good at it!

This picture was the next day--yesterday. He was so confident, didn't cry, and did AMAZING!! 

Such a proud momma I am :)

Here's the pep talk..

 And... he's off!!

Rounding the corner without a hitch!

Lovin' it!! 

 I loved watching his confidence soar everytime he got back on the bike. It was awesome!

 And here's my handsome little guy..he just enjoyed watching Caleb ride his bike without training wheels.. He said "Momma, I don't want to ride my bike without training wheels til' I'm as big as Dayub". (Caleb) LOL!

 Another chapter in my Cbear's life as he's growing! So proud of the big boy he's becoming!

Don't mind my puffiness here! 25 weeks and 5 days pregnant, it's flying by! :)

A special day for my oldest little man..

Caleb (my 5 year old) has been very inquisitive about death, Heaven, hell, and just everything that goes with all of that. A few weeks back, while I was at a Bible study, Darryl told me that when they prayed Caleb told him that he asked Jesus to come into his heart. I was so sad that I missed that conversation! I'm not sure if he understands the ENTIRE concept. But I do know that he understands that Jesus died on the cross for our sins, and that if we ask him to come into our heart, we will go to Heaven when we die. Though I was even younger when I got saved, this is so HUGE to me comprehending that a 5 year old can understand! We didn't pray the prayer with him, because he keeps saying he did it and we don't want to push him. I want him to come to do it because he WANTS to, not because he thinks it's what all the cool people (aka--his parents LOL) are doing. 

Yesterday  I was reading him "The Cajun Night Before Christmas" before naptime. He loves that book, especially when Daddy reads it. I just don't do the cajun accent right! LOL Anyway, the very last page is a little girl in her jammies, by her bed, praying. Caleb then saw that picture and said, "She's asking Jesus in her heart like I did, isn't she Mommy?" I said, yep she might be! And he then said, "I'm so glad I get to be with you forever in Heaven.." Talk about melting my HEART! THat was the sweetest thing ever. I'm just so grateful for the faith of a child, and how easy it is for them to trust & believe. 

So thankful for my babies, and for Jesus who gave them to me!

Ephesians 3:20

FIVE years ago yesterday..

I was in Germany, in a hospital on the economy being induced with our first baby boy.

I didn't know then how much being a mommy would change me.

I didn't know how much he'd look like his daddy.

I didn't know that I'd miss these little baby gums so much.

I didn't know how CUTE a one year old's birthday party could be.

I didn't know that he'd be such a good big brother, even at age 2!

I didn't know what a Thomas FANATIC he'd end up being..
(3 years)

I didn't know how silly acting, gooberish, and downright FUN he'd be.

I didn't know what an amazing role he'd play in our family..
But I know now...

Five years went SO fast.

This morning Caleb woke up to his birthday suprise!
Yep, a trampoline!
Ayden loves it too! :)

They've been on & off of it 100 times already! They love it.

For breakfast, I made him a "5" pancake. He LOVED it.
Yes, I know it looks like an S. LOL

In between breakfast & cookie making/bedtime we did alot!
But that was captured on my point & shoot, and my card reader just died!
So we'll have to wait on those pics.
But we did go to Chuckecheese, kroger, hobby lobby, jumped a ton on the trampoline, played go fish, rented the newest Free Willy, and just enjoyed our birthday boy!

Since he's having his big party this Saturday, we didn't make a cake for his actual bday.
His favorite cookies are chocolate chip and he wanted those in the shape of planes.
We also cut out some 5's. He thought it was too cool.

Pretty cute!!

HE felt special. You can see it right here. Man, I love that smile. :)

Thank you Jesus for another awesome year with my Cbear!
My boys mean the world to me, and I'm so glad you chose me to be their mommy!

Cbear, we love you and we are proud of the little man you are becoming!
Cannot wait for your big fighter jet party this weekend!!
Thanks for being such a big blessing to your mama & daddy.